A Big Huge Deep Breath

Somedays everything seems so busy, so strange, so upside down, so very slow motion moving backwards and then forwards again. Let's take yesterday for example, I reunited with an old friend over lunch, sat in the sunshine with her in the backyard garden of a busy cafe, I planned and purchased tickets for attending my friends wedding, I cleaned my apartment with my roommate, I cooked food for the rest of the week, and then... I worked on my taxes. THERE it is. that's the part where I felt backwards...the gloom and doom of taxes. An amazing day off and what should ruin it, what should fill my eyes with an incredible feeling of frustration and hopelessness?

Taxes.

I hate them.

What a silly thing they are.

Albert Einstein
[on filing for tax returns] This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher.

Dreaming on the Edge of a Vertical Garden with a flower in my Pocket (gazing at my window farm)

The experiment: Write in Blog as much as possible. This being defined as almost everyday, every other day, or at least once a week. Also to just write it as quickly as possible, and move on. Writing commences...NOW...go....

Today is one of the first days, and I am already off to a good start. Rather than posting interesting things I intake in life on the internet or in real life outside of these strange contraptions of information (computers) on Facebook, I decided some people I know don't belong to facebook (my brother!) and never will, so here I am, back at my blog.

My new* apartment has no garden, but it does have two fire escapes and great light, and roof access. I have decided since I can't bring the backyard to me, I should bring me to the backyard, or rather the backyard to my apartment, oh now I am all confused. Let's start this sentence over, I don't have a backyard, BUT I can bring the backyard to me! There we go (bells and whistles go off) that is what I meant to say.

I have found a few things in my research for a garden, and I stumbled upon this today when I was doing research for a documentary (not my own), Window Farms, (http://windowfarms.org/ ) and on their website they list this as their goal:

"to start a Windowfarming craze in New York City and other dense urban areas, helping people grow some of their food year-round in their apartment windows."

Really? Perfect! That is what I want. So my adventure has begun. Even better they are located in Brooklyn.

Previously, I have been daydreaming about WOOLLY POCKETS, ever since I saw an add in Dwell Magazine (Below is from www.woollypocket.com ):

What is a Woolly Pocket?
Woolly Pockets are flexible, breathable, and modular gardening containers. They`come in two styles: those designed to be placed on horizontal surfaces, and those designed to be hung on walls for vertical gardening. You can use Woolly Pockets both indoors and out; they have built-in moisture barriers to help protect furniture, and they're equally at home outside in the elements. They're perfect for creating urban gardens where you have space to garden but no land to garden in. Woolly Pockets are lightweight and can be folded flat, which makes them very easy to use, move, and store just about anywhere.

What is a vertical garden?

A vertical garden, sometimes called a living wall, is an organized system of plants that grow vertically up a wall, fence, or other vertical surface. Vertical gardens are a beautiful way to show off plants, cover an unsightly wall, or create privacy in a courtyard. Because they are hung vertically, vertical gardens hardly take up any space. The Woolly Pocket Vertical Gardening System is unique because it's easy to install, completely modular, and very easy to maintain. We invented our vertical system because there was no other solution on the market that suited our needs.

So, of course I want those now too.

It looks like Tacoma's Goodwill is

also partaking in the vertical garden.

Photo from

Cliff Despeaux

of the Seattle Times,

http://tinyurl.com/y8f3l89

And Marianne Green from the Home and Garden section of the Seattle Times, says this (as if directly to your truly):

"If you are one of those people who desires to be on the cutting edge, you'll need to identify where you're going to install your wall garden in the next few months. It can be indoors or outside. It can be tiny succulents or feathery ferns and flamboyant bromeliads or vining tomatoes and pole beans. But the botanical specimens need to be vertical for your installation to qualify as avant-garde."

Marianne, you are so right! I do want to be on the cutting edge. But it all started because I wanted a backyard, and I live in Brooklyn on the 3rd floor. So vertical garden, woolly pocket garden or window farm! Here I come.

*Still in first 3 months so still new!

Think I finally figured out a focus for my blog, but maybe not really...

So I keep thinking I need more of a focus for my blog, so this is what I came up with on my walk this morning.

...curiosities, changes, and coffee.

Alliteration never hurt anyone!

Curiosities: Things that I am curious about. That's a pretty big category.

Change: Always a good theme, the world is always changing.

And Coffee: I admit it, I like to check out coffee shops and see what they are all about. Why not write some reviews in here?

Essentially, I suppose I can pick any theme, if I don't post anything it doesn't really matter.

Moments of Cyberphilosophy

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Silently I screamed from my 15" powerbook internet window into the ears of all who would listen.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

If someone screams aloud in ALLCAPS on the internet, but no one is listening (reading) does it make a sound (not a true sound, but a theoretical sound)?

Are you listening?

Proceed With Caution

The moment your ear becomes muffled, as if underwater, for longer than two days you are slightly forced-because of you own inner need for survival-to become peaceful or zen about your new reality. That is what it feels like, a new different reality-sounds become strangely nuanced in new ways. Not crisp, less control, more moments to ignore things. It is as if walking in a dream, a strange surreal dream- as if under an influence of something as your perceptions within this new estranged reality become your normal perspective.

I am on a week with muffled hearing, ear drops taken to get rid of an ear infection but still the sound stays missing.

Sunset Over Brooklyn/Random Notes from my iPhone#2

In my dream last nite, my friend Dr R was using her iPhone to write papers, but in my dream the contraption was a cross btwn an iPhone and a kindle. I was very impressed with her on the go ingenuity. I decided I should practice using my blog application on my iPhone once again.

I love watching the sunset, an activity I feel should be done once a week when possible. This photo was taken from my friends' rooftop. I presently work at night so i have less free time to put this into practice.

Testing out blogging on my iPhone

Also titled: rambles from my iphone #1:
Or: BEP(Bartender's Escape plan): The Underbelly

As I ponder my daily life, bartending seems like such a waste of my time these days. I am completely bored with it. In an attempt to cheer myself up I started a delightful book, called Geek Love, by Karherine Dunn. Mutant cicus family adventures in carney land. So far a delightful read!

Tonite I will continue to rot my brain later by serving more alcohol to people, smiling, nodding, and trying to get by with the moments of humanity that happen when people smile back or when I can possibly pass on a little bit of kindness to another human being.

Onward I move forward, slowly crafting my bartender's escape plan.

Casting Off or Catching Up

After capturing my heart as a pacific northwest youngster watching Twin Peaks with my family every week, I continue to always be fascinated by what David Lynch has to offer the world.

Recently, he has started his own foundation, foundation website, and published a book in his efforts to share the joys transcendental meditation has brought to his own life, with the rest of the world. http://www.davidlynchfoundation.org/

I recently purchased his book, Catching The Big Fish. The book is a relaxing read, you can sit and read it all in one long sitting or keep returning back to it, and read it in whatever order you want. It's a collection of his musings, reflections, and thoughts on creativity- his ebb and flow in his own creative consciousness and unconsciousness.

Learning

My computer just lost all sound, I had a moment of panic, I remained calm and began to trouble shoot. I checked my preferences. There was just no sound. Ok, breathe, don't panic yet. No volume display on my top screen menu. There is sound when I restart. Thats good. Other people have had this problem, well, at least I am not alone. I finally found a post when I entered "Sound not working Powerbook G4 2009" and found a post for a solution. I turned off my computer, took out the battery and reset, put back in, restarted and there was my sound again.

Phew.

Watchman- The Soundtrack

This movie was directed by Zach Snyder and was written by David Hayter and Alex Tsa.

From the ScreenRant Website, and then following the original posting on Hardcorenerdity.com David Hayter posted a letter to fans of the Watchman,

“If the film made you think. Or argue with your friends. If it inspired a debate about the nature of man, or vigilante justice, or the horror of Nixon abolishing term limits. If you laughed at Bowie hanging with Adrian at Studio 54, or the Silhouette kissing that nurse. Please go see the movie again next weekend. You have to understand, everyone is watching to see how the film will do in its second week. If you care about movies that have a brain, or balls, (and this film’s got both, literally), or true adaptations - And if you’re thinking of seeing it again anyway, please go back this weekend, Friday or Saturday night. Demonstrate the power of the fans, because it’ll help let the people who pay for these movies know what we’d like to see. Because if it drops off the radar after the first weekend, they will never allow a film like this to be made again.”

He continues on about the movie. So let me come out and say it, I didn't like the movie, I felt let down. Although after saying that, I would probably watch it again. I do think movies like this should be continued to be made, and I know that with all the hype and long history behind getting this movie made it is bound to let people down. The part for me that was such a strong red flag was the music. What I didn't like about it were the music choices and the long montage segments to very popular songs. These songs, I argue have to much other meaning associated with them to be strong in this movie. The whole opening was to Unforgettable by Nat King Cole- and I felt like it took over the opening segment in a way that I didn't like. At first the song was within the diegesis of the film, on the television channel the character-The Comedian- is watching, but then it swept out of the story and took over. This happened in many instances, I felt uncomfortable with the choices they made everytime the music segments happened. I really just don't understand how those music choices were made or why?

how much can one procrastinate?

Oh so very much.

I would like to take a moment to thank all the vehicles of procrastination in my life:

thanks ichat, youtube, facebook, twitter, blogger, vimeo, myspace, etc etc etc.... and don't even get me started on the fact that I live in NYC and there are amazing things to do constantly. AND the fact that I like television. AND movies. AND reading. ah reading.

Photos: to Print or not to Print

We are in the middle of a changing time, where are photographic values are changing. As we learn new ways to take and save photos digitally, less and less people are storing photos in touchable photo albums, shoeboxes, or bottom drawers of photos. I struggle with my own reason to take photos- to share some online, and to share some with others for viewing.

Talking with my father, who was born in 1930, he asked me where do all these photos go that I take? They are sometimes posted online, shared over email, and stored on a hard drive. But where are the tangible- hold in your hand, aging copies of the photographs? Torn edges, water spots, and so forth? I have recently decided to begin to figure out a way to send the photos to my dad and mom in print form, possibly book style rather than just print.

Calvinism, Sexism, and The Mars Hill Church

On one of my last visits to Seattle, I noticed a strange music venue style wherehouse building and my brother told me it was some church called the Mars Hill Church. I was freaked out, fascinated, and wanted to learn more about this bizarro style nouveau rock n roll holyland.

I already believe in hypocritical living environment, in this day and age in capitalistic North America it is difficult to not at some moment contradict oneself, or participate in a moment of oxymoronic behavior. BUT REALLY! Supposedly a place to celebrate the "different" culture. Where tattoos and long hair/alternative lifestyles are encouraged. On the other side of the coin they are encouraging men to be men (as in the patriarchal classic macho style man view) and definitely do not question the authority of the leader, Mark Driscoll, who formed the church. Read more about the Mars Hill Church located in my hometown of Seattle, WA in this New York Times Article: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/11/magazine/11punk-t.html?_r=1&pagewanted=2&emc=eta1

I just can't help it, questioning authority is in my blood. Mark Driscoll I think you are creepy.

Facebook Friends

Busy Brooklyn girl, bartending four nights a week, presently taking a class once a week, working on creating a webshow on the side, hanging out with friends, boyfriend, and fitting in exercise? Is all that really possible. Some days it feels like a balancing act, and some days it feels impossible. Recently all these new platforms have been created that has become a somewhere to stay connected on a global scale to friends, family, and acquaintances. Does it help with my balancing act? Or create more time for me to distract myself? First there was Myspace, and then there was Facebook. The imaginary social space for us all to be together again- in a controlled manner of course. I try to keep online identity me, like regular me. Friends I have not talked to in years are all of a sudden able to have daily updates on my life.

So weird.

Adding to the bilge. Where is my check? More Posts! More Photos! More Photoboothgirl!!!

It was pointed out by a dear friend of mine, shall we call her Luci? Yes lets! My lovely talented writer, artist, and filmmaker friend Luci sent me an email asking (I will admit-maybe not in the following words), 'where oh where has photoboothgirl gone? Gone to Photobooths everyone, when will she ever learn? when will she ever learn'**

I am still here, although a little bitter and a little tired, I will continue to write. Fighting to survive in this over blogged world, I fought off the negative chatter of Paul Boutin of Wired Magazine,"The blogosphere, once a freshwater oasis of folksy self-expression and clever thought, has been flooded by a tsunami of paid bilge." He goes on to discuss how blogging has been taken on by larger brands, companies, corporations, and BLAh blah Bladedity, blahhhhhhhh. Well, I say Mister Boutin, I photoboothgirl will continue to blog. We are the fortunate ones to watch history while blogging was born and became a new free medium for people to write freely, post photos, and express themselves with a specific theme, or sometimes in their own random menagerie of thoughts. It was easier to stand out before. But now it isn't new. It is a years old. oh no! not that. The people that jumped on the early blogging bandwagon were smart, or lucky- or both. Yes now its more common to have a blog. Who doesn't have a blog these days? Or a twitter. Will blogging go the way of the Zine? OR is it merely a more popular computer version of a Zine, with templates?

Oh and here is a pumpkin:

**Oh, woops that is a song already. Sung most recently on a covers album by Dolly Parton, but replace photoboothgirl with flowers, or soldiers.

Writing Writing Writing

To Write or Not to Write? To Blog or not to Blog. That is the question

The Bartenders Escape Plan

Bartenders Escape Plan:

1. upgrade skills

2. save money

3. take some classes

4. make own project

5. create free time

I won't let you become boring

My friend, we will call her Dr. Lovely just moved to a smaller sized city to start her residency, she just wrote to me she doesn't want to become boring. And I just want to be quoted to say that you, Dr Lovely will never be boring!! You might get tired, but boring... never. I know the way your brain works... and it is incapable of drab. This will serve as my pledge to you: I will do whatever I can if there is ever a moment that you doubt your incredible sense of depravity, creativity, laughter, mischievousness, and sheer weird being that you are.

Floating over my body

My heart wasn't racing, my knees weren't locked, but I felt something welling up inside. I attempted to separate my mind from my body as I focused on my breathing. I felt the snot begin to drip from my nose. I had no way to wipe it. It slipped down the inside to the tip, tickling and cold on my skin. I lay there breathing. For a brief moment I wanted to stand up, tear out the needles on my skin and run out of the office. However that seemed a little dramatic, so instead I continued to focus on my breath. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in breathe out. For a moment I opened my eyes to take in my surroundings from my limited viewpoint, laying, stomach side down, with my face in the massage head piece. Closing them I imagined my self above my body, I envisioned the other rooms and the people inside, I floated through the walls, the pipes, the wires, and looked down at myself, removing myself from that moment of claustrophobia. It didn't hurt but it was , "weird." Sometimes things are hard to describe with how it feels and how it makes you feel.

I went to acupuncture for the first time. I have gone twice so far. I went for a muscles strain in my back. And I told him about my allergies as well. I think to honor pain and healing is an important step in the getting better process, so I was doing that, I was doing something. I know there are a lot of somethings to do to get better in the world and this just happened to be one I was trying right now for this pain. Well, I know I would try this something again, and there will be other somethings for me to try too. Although hopefully, not that many!

Confession of a failed blogger

Confession one: I have crossed over to the Thirties. Now in a whole other questionaire age group category. Exploring a whole new terrain; I am no longer a cute twenty something, I have landed in a new "cute" territory: The Cute Thirty-somethings?

Confession two: I think our modern day urban manners are atrocious. I know that I have these magical moments where I think people are inspiring, but then when you take a job bartending in the lower east side, like I did, you see the other side of how people behave. Dare I say, they lack a fundamental skill base to negotiate a simple transaction to buy alcohol in a loud bar? Dare I call them monsters? MONSTERS!!!! These are a new breed of monster: they shout, wave their arms, tip poorly, are untrusting, demanding and impatient. They look like you or I, they often have party hats, bachelorette buttons, refuse to smile, and drink soco lime shots, jager bombs, and long island ice teas. Beware, they are among us.

Confession Three: I have been spending time writing entries for my blog, but then never posted them.

Confession Four: I am lactose intolerant!